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The new year is almost here, and it’s time for us to let go of the toxic people in our life. We might not see it that way, but perhaps we are too giving of people in our lives. For example, you may thing you’re a good person for giving your friend money, once in a while, because he is broke. Perhaps you think you’re doing a good deed for giving your friend a ride, because he has no car. So, I’m here to tell you that maybe you’re too giving and you may be putting yourself last.
- You’re Being Guilted– If you have “friends” like this, just know that they probably aren’t your friends. Say for instance, your boyfriend asks you to come over, but you are too tired to drive, and you do it anyway, to save his feelings. If he get’s mad at you, and calls you, “selfish,” because you didn’t make that drive, then you, my friend, are being guilt tripped. Maybe you have a friend who you text, and one day, you didn’t feel like replying. This person may take it personal, and call you a “bad friend,” for not responding in a timely manner. If you feel the need to text this person back, because you feel bad, then you are only being guilted to do so.
- You Invest Your Energy on Others More Than Yourself– If you find yourself making time for other people, but cannot find time for yourself, then you might be focusing on the wrong thing. That love you give to others, you need to invest in yourself. For example, if you find yourself always doing people favors, then just say no- take time for yourself to restore your energy. You may be feeling drained, because you don’t get enough sleep, are always irritated, and have no time to take care of your own goals. If this is the case, start saying no to others, and making time for yourself.
- You Always Feel Guilty– You have no reason to feel guilty for others. Ask yourself this. “Are these people worried about me?” If the answer is no, then you let people manipulate your feelings. You do not need to feel guilty, because other people are not your responsibility (unless they are your kids). If you find yourself being too empathetic, just know it’s not your job to fix others, and you can only do so much.
- You Always End Up Feeling Empty– Perhaps you’ve done so much for people, that you never feel great. Perhaps you feel used and deep down, empty. If people are always asking you for favors, and you don’t get the same love back, perhaps you’re dealing with the wrong people. You might feel like all you do is help others, but nobody would ever do the same for you. Say no and you see how you feel.
- People Take Advantage of Your Kindness– You may be a “yes man.” You avoid saying no, because you think you are a bad friend. However if you are saying yes to everyone, you may just be a pushover. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Be kind, but still have boundaries. Don’t worry about how others feel, when you say no. Stick up for yourself, because you are worth it.