photo via goalcast.com
Life happens. Sometimes we may love someone who does not love us back. Maybe our gym crush is in love with another woman, or maybe the girl of your dreams is marrying another man. Whatever the case may be, life happens, and once in a while, we break down and cry. Sometimes we feel weak, unwanted, low, have low self-esteem, and don’t feel good enough. I’ve been there before, and I’m here to tell you, it’s okay, and you will get through this.
Here are some ways to take control of your emotions.
Be real with yourself- If you’re feeling depressed, ask yourself why. What or who triggered you to feel that way? Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to change. Once you know the root of your feelings, then you are then able to address it in a healthy way. Being in denial will only hurt you in the end, and you will only feel worse. Be honest and raw with yourself.
Ask yourself, ” Is stressing over this going to change my life?” If the answer is no, then you can now take steps to move on. Say for instance, you are in love with someone who does not love you back. You can either cry about it and lay in bed or move on and work on yourself. Perhaps, you can get in shape, save up for a new car, get your master’s degree, or literally anything that will help you in the future.
If your plan is to sit there and feel sorry for yourself, you are wasting your time and energy. Nipsey Hussle once said, “Never let a hard time humble us.”
Apply your energy where it matters– Get off your ass, and move. Get up. Do something that will change your life. Take all of that pain you hold inside and use that energy to be the best you can be. If you want to be a singer or an actor, go for it. If you want to travel the world, and see Greece or Africa, go do it. Remember, your focus becomes your reality, and you have full control of where you choose to direct your energy.
Let things be. Realize you can’t force anything. The universe does not work that way. You can’t make somebody fall in love with you. You can’t control someone’s feelings or how they see you. The best thing to be is yourself. If people can’t appreciate you for you, then the best thing for you to do is live your life and never look back.
Don’t overanalyze. The worst thing to do is to think about why something didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. We may think or say things like,”Why doesn’t he/she love me?/ Why did my friend pass away?/ Why am I single?/ What’s wrong with me?” Negative thinking leads to false beliefs of yourself. Sometimes we are hard on ourselves for no reason. Accept things for how they are, but don’t overthink it, because it solves literally nothing.
Laugh at your problems. Our “problems” may not be as big as we make it. If you can laugh at yourself, then life will be much easier. Say for instance, you got cheated on. Sure, it’s going to hurt, but in the end, you can say, “Wow, I can’t believe I was with that person. What the heck was I thinking?” Or, maybe you once cried over someone you loved, and they’re not even thinking about you. One day you can say, “Oh, wow. I cried over him? That’s hilarious!” If your friend passed away, reflect on the good memories, and think “Wow, this person was funny. Remember that joke he would tell?/ I remember the days when we would get drunk together.”
Find the humor in life, because there’s nothing wrong with laughing during the hardest phases of your life.
Issa Rae– This “Insecure” actor, Issa Rae is one black leader who is making big moves, not only for herself, but for her community. In Slauson, Rae has opened up a cafe, called Hill Top Cafe. Moreover, she has a new music label with Atlantic Records, called Raedio. Look out for her new movie, called ‘The Photograph,’ which airs on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2020. Ain’t nothin’ to be insecure about, girl!
Meghan Markle– This royal princess is the first black royal since the 1700’s (Sophie Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz was the first person of color in the throne). Markle is the first person to hold the title Duchess of Sussex. Markle also encourage the youth in the UK, joining One Young World.
Megan Thee Stallion– This Houston Hot Girl is obviously one of the baddest rappers in the game right now, with hot singles such as “Big Ole Freak,” “Cash Shit,” “Simon Says,” “Hot Girl Summer” and more. She is a rapper, who is also a college student at the Texas Southern University, earning her degree in health. This woman is soon to drive the boat into #FutureBlackHistory.
Misty Copeland– Copeland joined the American Ballet in 2001. In 2007, this ballet legend became their second black female soloist and the first in 20 years. In 2015, she was the first black woman in the company’s 75 year history. “You are going to hear ‘no’ in life no matter what you do. You just have to keep pushing and persevering. And I think it’s important to know that it doesn’t matter what your skin color is or your body shape is. Whatever you want to do, you should go for it,” she said in Elle magazine.
Dr. Shirley Jackson– Respectfully known as a theoretical physicist, Ms. Jackson is the first black woman to earn a Ph.D. from MIT. Also, she is the second black woman to earn a doctorate in physics in United States history. In 2015, she earned the National Medal of Science, from President, Barack Obama. Put some respect on her name, because Ms. Jackson isn’t here to make your daughter cry!
Rihanna– Badgirl Riri is doing big things, and stands as one of the richest female music artist. Now, that’s a big deal! Go, head Riri! She is worth at least $600 million. This badass female has her lingerie brand, Savage X Fenty, which represents women of all races, backgrounds, shapes, and sizes. Her makeup brand, Fenty Beauty is also popular, due to the fact that she represents women of all backgrounds and skin colors. Now, that’s something to respect, off top. “All women deserve to feel beautiful and all women deserve to have a choice and an option when they go to the makeup counter,” she exclaimed on Entertainment Tonight.
Beyoncé Knowles– The Queen Bey is one the best selling music artists of all time, period! She has sold 13 million albums in the US, and over 118 million records worldwide (at least 60 million additionally with Destiny’s Child). Moreover, her brand, Ivy Park is also banging, and the Carter’s new Ivy Park x Adidas retail line dropped at noon in January, 2020. #IvyParkXAdidas made it to #3 on Twitter’s 10 trending topics. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, no-no-no!
photo via brooklynvegan.com
Megan Thee Stallion isn’t stopping anytime soon! As a matter of fact, she has a lot going for her this whole month and the next. Sorry, my friends, but Hot Girl Summer isn’t ending any time soon, and will carry to Spring and Fall. Since next week is Super Bowl, Meg is gearing up for one of the biggest moments of her life. Now, that’s a big deal!
On January 9, Meg shared a clip of video, captioned “A real Hot Girl kno how to keep a N***a heated.” Of course, Meg comes with fire bars and major twerk moves that nobody else can compete with. In the video, she is rapping with shades on, while two hotties are twerking in the back. Fans were obviously thrilled, and were already talking about her new album, Suga. “My next project, I will be introducing a new lady,” Megan told NPR in October 2019, “Her name is Suga. She’s besties with [alter ego] Tina Snow.”
On January 24, Megan dropped her first single of 2020, Suga, where she brings out her inner Tupac. And, trust, she let’s us know that she’s woman enough to take any man she pleases! In the track, Meg samples Tupac’s “Ratha be Yo N***a” in “B***H,” where she talks about keeping it real and being a bad b***h for the right type of man. This song is also #5 on Apple Music. Of course, Meg is a real woman who would hold it down for any guy, and will always get what she wants. Duh, she’s Megan Thee Stallion!
“I’d rather be a B***H (I’d rather keep it real with ya)
‘Cause that’s what you gon’ call me when I’m trippin’ anyway
You know you can’t control me, baby, you need a real one in your life
Them b*****s ain’t gon’ give it to you right”
Meg isn’t playing games at all this year. Look out for a new video with Phony Ppl, which is set to release on Friday, January 31. This is a hot collab song, called “Fkn Around,” and you already know it’s going to be lit!
Meg is also a part of Best Lyrics and Best New Hip-Hop Artist at iHeartRadio Music Awards, at the Shrine Auditorium, Los Angeles. iHeart Radio will be live, March 29 on Fox TV, so stay tuned!
During Super Bowl, Meg will be performing at the Bud Light Super Bowl Music Fest on January 30. On this day, DJ Khaled, DaBaby, and Meek Mill will be present. On the 31st, Vewtopia will be starring DaBaby, Cardi B., and Migos, and many more badass artists. Meg will be attending the ‘Return of The Tunnel‘ party at Avant Gardner on Sunday, February 23
Get ready for Hot Girl Spring, because Meg is coming for you, and is driving the boat all the way to the top!
Junru Bian / EyeEm via Getty Images
Like Daniel Power says, “You had a bad day.” We’ve all had those bad days, where it seems like the whole world is against us, even when we’re just trying to be good people. It sucks, right? We ask ourselves, “Why is this happening to me?” and “Is it karma?” No matter who you are, we’ve all been there before, including Beyoncé. I’m here to tell you, my friends, it is not the end of the world. Here are some things you can do if you think you’re having a bad day.
- Know it’s not the end of the world– Seriously! Today, I got a parking ticket, and was so hot, I wanted to scream. I had to calm myself down and look at the situation, without reacting. First of all, it’s just a ticket, and it will be paid off soon. If I can perhaps work an extra day at my job, and make $70 in tips, it’ll be paid off in no time! In other words, I have a whole month to pay off such a small amount. It could be worse. Like an annoying, expensive parking ticket or scratch on the car, the great thing is, we are here today, and can solve these problems in a heartbeat. It’s not that serious as we make it out to be.
- Listen to music- Whatever song that is that makes you feel alive, listen to that song! Sometimes, all it takes is music to put you in a better mood. Do just that! If there’s a song that make you forget about your problems, sing it at the top of your lungs. According to the British Journal of Psychiatrist by Finnish researchers, music helps cope with depression and anxiety.
- Exercise– Get out there, and move your body! If you’re feeling angry, go punch a punching bag. If you’re feeling sad, go for a jog. Take those feelings of grief and anger, and lift those heavy weights. If you can overcome a challenge in the gym, you can overcome it outside. Fitness is symbolic to life. We become mentally and physically stronger over time through tearing and breaking, sweat, and tears.
- Write– Whatever is bothering you, write it down. Get a notebook and write it down. Whether it’d be a journal, diary, or song lyrics, apply your energy to being creative. Writing things down helps organize your thoughts and gives importance to traumatic experience.
- Laugh about it– Like I said, it’s not the end of the world. Sometimes, all we can do is laugh about a situation. That $70 parking ticket may be laughable, because I can ask myself, “Why did my dad stop to talk to me for 30 minutes when I could have left a long time ago, and avoided getting that stupid ticket?” Life is too short to be mad about everything and be angry. Just laugh at yourself, and you’ll have a smoother ride in life.
photo via SONY Pictures Animation
Back in 2012, Matthew A. Cherry Tweeted, “I’m gonna be nominated for an Oscar one day. Already claiming it.” 8 years later, that dream come true has been spoken into existence. Matthew A. Cherry launched his first Kickstarter campaign, creating the animated short Hair Love.Now, that’s something to brag about.
In black culture, it was the norm for black girls to get their hair pressed. Especially in Eurocentric beauty standards, we are taught that our hair has to be a certain way to be accepted in society. More specifically, black hair is only “good hair” if it’s long and fine, silky, or straightened. Eurocentric beauty standards have come a long way in history, which is why weaves and extensions have become super popular for black women.
What I love about this film, is that the audience can see a piece the black hair experience. Black hair is more than a “thing.” It’s a culture- a history of hot combs, perms, hair relaxers, beads, braids, cornrows, twists, dread locks, afros, and more. Black hair is not just hair, it’s history.
“It was just really wanting to make sure that they look like people we know. There are so many young girls that are so proud of their hair and they wear it with pride. And we really wanted to capture that with Zuri,” says Cherry.
This film is more so about black girls loving themselves, just the way they are. Black hair isn’t something that was deemed as “beautiful,” but I think society is finally starting to understand that being black has always been the norm, even if it wasn’t properly represented or treated in society.
In the short film, the girl is crying, because her hair is too difficult to be styled. This reminds me of reality, when a black girl’s hair is looked as “too difficult,” because of the thickness and nappiness. Even today, black women are denied jobs, because of their “ghetto” hair styles and textures. In the film, the little girl is looking up black hairstyles that she’s interested in, looking at a woman (who appears to be her mother). If you take a closer look, the woman is only repping black hairstyles. I think that’s important, because black girls do need to know they’re beautiful, even if society told us otherwise.
“I just thought it was a really good opportunity for us to show a young Black man that typically, when you look at him, some people may think, oh, well, he’s got a sleeve tattoo. He’s this, he’s that. What does he do? And then to surprise them with, no, he’s a loving dad. Again, we know these people. But the world is not seeing a dad that looks like that out. So it was really important for us to push that authenticity of that young millennial Black father with the dreads and then just flip that stereotype,” says Karen Toliver.
Megan Thee Stallion is taking over once again. She’s just getting started, and this time, she’s partnering up with Depop. Depop is a global marketplace where shoppers can buy things they see in a magazine. How cool is that! This is the first time they are teaming up with a celebrity, and who wouldn’t want Meg on their team? So, that means that designers and influencers all over the world can see what everyone else is wearing, sell cool clothes, and totally influence people from all over the world.
Founder, Simone Beckerman describes Depop as “a mobile space where you can see what your friends and the people you’re inspired by are liking, buying, and selling.”
Meg’s “Hot Girl Summer” was popularized all 2019, in album, “Fever.” Hot Girl Summer has become so popular, that it has become a part of pop culture. Even on Instagram, women who feel confident about themselves are hashtagging #hotgirlsummer in their hottest selfies. However, “Hot Girl Summer” has become more than a saying- it’s the modern day term for feminism, where women can be free and not care what anyone thinks.
Being a Texas native, Megan is inspired to share a piece of her hometown with the world. As you can see, Megan’s style consists of big hats, cowboy boots, spikes, and booty shorts, and “big thangs.”
“The creative community in Houston is kind of hidden, you wouldn’t even know there are so many young people here designing and selling their own clothes,” the Coachella headliner told Vogue. “I can find vintage pieces and not have to buy something new. I’ve been trying to use less plastic after my beach cleanup last year and I’m definitely going to try and buy more cool vintage pieces now that I’m on Depop.”
“‘Texas Fever’ is about celebrating Texan attitude,” she exclaims, “It’s about big hoops, big hair, we got the whole cowboy and cowgirl aesthetic that everyone now wants to wear, but we all know who started it first. I definitely think Texans have a unique style. I mean, everything’s bigger in Texas!”
Meg’s collection, “Texas Fever,” will be released this Friday, January 17, and will be on Megan’s Depop profile. So, get ready for Megan to “drive the boat,” because it’s going to be a wild adventure!
Being a bartender is the kind of side hustle that everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime. From the money to the people, this job can certainly be beneficial for someone who wants to make good money, with a flexible schedule. I mean, being a bartender is cool. Even T-Pain would be proud of you, that is, if you thinks he’s “cool,” and “give him a wink back.”
Here are 7 cool reasons to be a bartender.
Meeting Interesting People– There’s are a lot of interesting people, to say the least. There’s never a day where you won’t meet any characters. Remember, it’s a bar, so for the most part, many people who show up are seeking to escape their reality, and will most likely not be sober.
Network– The great think about working at a bar is you will meet many types of people, including people who can benefit your future. Working at a bar, I’ve met many people from all kinds of backgrounds, including the movie industry, attorneys, actors, musicians, and many more. As someone who is constantly interacting with people, this is an easy way to make connections through small conversation. A little interaction goes a long way.
Being a “drink expert”– The cool thing about being a bartender is, you have the knowledge about many types of drinks. You can show off in front of your friends, and be like, “Oh, well did you know that the difference between a Joe Collins and Tom Collins is that Joe means Scotch and Tom is gin?” You can be a smart ass, if you want, and tell your girlfriend, ” You forgot to add triple sec to that Long Island Ice Tea of yours.”
Moolah baby– Hello! Who doesn’t want money? There are plenty of ways to make money, and I mean A LOT. First of all, you can book tons of events, from private events to celebrity functions, to house parties. Just imagine what your tips would look like if DaBaby or Amber Rose threw an event? You’d make bank!
Travel, travel, travel!- Just imagine all of the places you can book? Say for instance, they’re looking for a bartender in Miami or New Orleans, and they select you!
You are the superstar!-You are the star of the show. You run this sh–! Just know that you are the bartender, so if people like you, most likely they will come back to see you. You can be whoever you want or even change your name. You are the Beyoncé! You can even do a dance if you want to. Just like a show, if people are entertained, they will come back for more. More people means more money, and you, my friend, are on the red carpet. Smile!
Build social skills- Obviously, we live in a world where we have to talk to people. Sorry, my friends, but social media isn’t the only way to communicate in this world. From meeting all types of people with different personalities and backgrounds, you will have no choice but to build your verbal and nonverbal communication skills.
As a black woman, it’s hard to call myself black in a world that rejects my identity. My mom is black and Filipino and my dad is Creole, so they’re both black. I’ve never had any ties with my roots, except for being black in Los Angeles. The only “culture” I know is the black community in LA, of barber shops on Crenshaw, Westcoast rap, soul food, Baldwin Hills Mall (also growing up in Vegas). My grandma is from Louisiana, and I’ve only been to New Orleans a few times in my life. Still, I’m a black LA girl.
All my life I’ve struggled with my identity, because I wasn’t sure which “box” to fit in. I wasn’t black enough for the hood or the black kids, and everyone thought I was Hispanic.
Here are some struggles of growing up mixed.
You’re never fully accepted – You’re either not black enough, too light, or “different” from the others. It feels like you’re trying to fit in, even when you already know who you are. People get angry when you tell them what you are, because they want you to be something you’re not.
You’re questioned about your ethnicity so much, you have to give everyone you meet a history lesson about your life- It’s annoying to have to tell random people what I am, every single time I meet someone. It’s like a repetitive script I keep in my head, because I know they’re going to ask me what I am. I say, “My mom’s black and Filipino and my dad is Creole,” and so on.
“What are you?” is a question you’ve heard all your life- It’s similar to when a person asks a dog owner, “What breed is your dog?” Random strangers will approach you, and feel entitled to know your background, because they’ve never seen anything like you. You’re like this weird creature.
“Where are you really from?” is another question you’ve heard– I grew up in Los Angeles and partly Vegas, but somehow, people seem to think I’m from this foreign island, somewhere where there’s exotic parakeets and coconuts. People always assume you’re foreign, because you “look different.” One guy told me, “You look like you’re from somewhere, where the sun shines differently.” Not sure what sun that is, but hey- sounds cool, I guess.
People make assumptions about your socioeconomic status, interests- If I listen to rap music, wear braids, hoop earrings, and talk with slang, or hang out in the hood I’m “trying” to be black.
People think I’m a tourist in the streets I grew up in- Every time I hang out in Inglewood, Slauson, or somewhere “dangerous,” people assume I’m not from the area, and that I’m naive, and too proper of a lady to be associated with those neighborhoods. Or, they think I’m a Valley Girl, because I “talk white,” and “look different” so I wouldn’t know those areas. Even if I literally lived there, I’m not “really” from the area, because I’m not “black enough” to be culturally aware.
People glorify and fetishize my non-black, “exotic” traits– People aren’t quite fascinated when I say I’m black, until I say I’m mixed with Filipino and Creole. They think it’s a compliment to say I’m “exotic,” or light-skinned.
“You’re not like other black girls,” and “I don’t like black girls, but you’re an exception,” is supposed to be a compliment.
It reminds me of the slave days, when the white masters raped the black women, and the “mulatto” offspring was apparent. It reminds me of the twisted, ignorant Eurocentric beauty standards in society, where the lighter your skin, the more desirable you are, just like the video vixens in a rap video.
You learn to deal with ignorance- You can’t educate the whole world. As long as you know who you are, it doesn’t matter how people categorize you.
You accept you for you– People will say you’re this and that, you’re not enough, or maybe you’re too much. Whatever you’ve heard, just know that you are a a strong, awesome human being in a world of miseducated people. Just be yourself.