photo via axietyfightersguide.com
I’m an overthinker. I know what it feels like to sit with your thoughts and make yourself sad about pretty much everything, from your love life, to your goals, to money. I get it. I know what it feels like when you’re telling yourself, “I’m not enough/ I’m a failure,” and the only option you find necessary is to lie down and sleep your problems away or go on your phone.
Sometimes we overthink, because we’re insecure. Perhaps we think our lover doesn’t want us anymore, or is checking out other women on Instagram. Or perhaps your girl doesn’t text you back right away, and you think she stopped loving you. Sound familiar? Though life doesn’t always operate the way we want it, that doesn’t mean we have to fill our heads with poisonous thoughts and jump to conclusions.
I’m here to tell you right now, GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
You are not your thoughts.
Here are some ways to stop yourself from overthinking.
Stop doubting yourself – If you think the reason you’re feeling down and tell yourself things like, “Nobody loves me/ Nobody cares/ I am nothing..”, stop it. You are none of those things, because it’s not real. Know that you have the power to change the way you feel about yourself.
Talk to yourself– I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out. It’s okay to be your own voice of reason. When you’re feeling down, be your own motivational speaking mentor. Tell yourself things like “You matter/ You got this/ You’re beautiful/ You’re strong…” Sometimes telling yourself positive things will help you deal with a difficult situation, and you might feel refreshed.
Live in the present– I know we all have a life of bills, stress, heartbreak, and so on. However, we are not our problems. You have a right to enjoy yourself. If you’re in the company of your loved ones, out on a date, listening to New Edition or Keith Sweat, enjoy that moment. We tend to think that we don’t deserve to have a good time, but that is BULLSHIT. I repeat, that is BULLSHIT. We are allowed to live, period. Know that overthinking will only ruin the moment, so stop listening to those negative voices in your head, and enjoy yourself.
Apply your energy toward your goals– If you’re in your head, get up and move. Go accomplish something. Go to the gym, apply for that job, audition for that role. You will feel better about yourself, verses sitting on the couch wasting your energy. Just imagine what you could accomplish if you applied your energy toward your goals and priorities, instead of feeling terrible about life.
Separate logic from emotion- We are not always right. So, if you’re getting worked up about not getting a text back, perhaps this person doesn’t “hate you.” Perhaps they were driving during the time, and could not respond. Take a step back and try not to take everything personal.
Realize you can’t control everything– Sometimes it’s not your business to know every single detail. You don’t have to. Know that you can’t control everything, and it’s unrealistic to think that everything will go your way, nor will everyone think like you do. It’s okay to let go and accept things you have no control over. The world does not operate based on what you want all the time. Know that you will be okay.