I’m not here to preach or tell anyone what they should do with their life. Though I can’t say I’ve been in a toxic relationship, I can say that I’ve witnessed it on the outside. If your gut knows you’re unhappy, then you should probably make some adjustments in your life to be happy. Walking away may never be easy, and sometimes we keep people in our life for the sake of comfort and security. Getting rid of toxic people is not a loss, it’s a gain, and a step towards self-love. Here are reasons why you should let go of toxic people.
1. Holding on to toxic relationships prevent happiness and personal growth– It is difficult to accomplish your goals when you’re constantly around people who bring negative energy. If you’ve heard things like, “It’s your fault/You don’t love me anymore/ I hate you…” chances are, these people in your life are a waste of space. They serve no purpose in your life, and are literally wasting your time, while you could be doing other things for your personal gain. If you want to win, you need to surround yourself with people who cheer for you, support you, tell you things like, “I see you/ I got you/ You matter to me/ How can I support you…?” You deserve happiness, and if you allow negative energy into your life, you will stay miserable. The universe works with you when you create space for yourself.
2. Toxic people linger in your mind if you don’t let go- We are human. As much as it hurts to remember what pain they’ve caused, it doesn’t help to focus on them. If you’re entering a new relationship, the truth is, you haven’t yet created space for a new one, because you’re mentally focused on your past. Letting go takes time. I’m not saying it’s easy to just wash away your feelings. Would be nice, right? It takes time to let go, but if you can practice letting go, it will all be worth it. Acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and learn from those mistakes. However, talking about how terrible this person is does not serve you well. If you keep focusing on them, you are wasting your energy, and allowing them to live in your mind, forever. Practice shifting your focus on things that matter like your goals, the loved ones in your life, traveling, fitness, etc.. Your focus becomes your reality.
3.Toxic people don’t want to see you win– Truth is, toxic people benefit from you the most when you are unhappy. They will manipulate you, when they see you down, because there’s something that they want. When you’re weak, they attack. Don’t fall for this trap. Toxic people never want to see you doing better than they are. They will play the victim and will attack you from angles, to make you stay in the same position. For example, if you’ve had an opportunity to land a great job, and your partner says things like, “Oh, you don’t love me, anymore/ You’re going to leave me?/ You don’t care…” chances are, these people are no good. People who love you want to see you do better, period.
4. You prevent yourself from starting a new, healthier relationship– This applies to lovers, family members, friends, children, etc. If you find yourself having to push others away, you’re in a not-so-good situation. When you let go of an unhealthy relationship, you’re telling the world you’re ready for a happier, healthier life, in general. You will attract better when you surround yourself with better.
5. You are killing yourself faster– Yikes! I know this sounds harsh, but let’s just cut to the chase. If someone in your life is causing you unnecessary stress, drama, migraines, and grey hairs, you might be setting yourself up for a faster death. You should enjoy your life to the fullest, and spend it laughing, giving love, and being loved.
6. Toxic people want you to think you need them. You don’t.- Even if these toxic people offer you some sort of “reward,” including financial security, a place to stay, a job offer/ connection, or can get you a record deal, it is never worth it. These toxic people want you to think they need them, so they can control you in the end. Their intentions are never to help you. If someone wants to be there for you, they’ll be there for you, period. There’s no point in spending your life on people who never planned on being there for you.
7. You realize your worth when you learn to walk away– You are amazing, period. Anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve the privilege of getting to know you, or being around you.
8. You deserve to be loved– You are worthy of being loved. Allow yourself to be loved and treated like the king/queen you are.
9. You will be free– In the name of En Vogue, “Free your mind, and the rest will follow.”